Wedding/Vivaha literally means “what supports or carries” in
Sanskrit.Wedding is a sacred ceremony meant to create a union that
supports and carries a man and woman throughout their married life. The
traditional wedding consists of many rituals and traditions.Though
its little elaborate it gives enough time for both bride and groom to
know each other and feel comfortable among themselves and families. Initially it starts with matching of horoscopes.Boy and girl should belong to different Gotra
and Nakshatra [i.e. star].After the horoscopes of the bride and groom
are matched and the decision is made for them to marry, a formal
engagement ceremony is held. An auspicious date is determined by the
priest, and the bride’s parents host the event.
NISCHITAARTHA:
Nischitaartha/Engagement
will
take place in girl’s house.Groom’s mother will bless the girl with
Arishina
Kumkuma,Fruits,Flowers,Artifacts,Cosmetics,Bangles,Jewellery,Saree and
an engagement ring.The bride’s parents also bless the
groom and give him a ring, a watch and other gifts.Traditionally bride
and groom are not supposed to see/touch each other before wedding.Hence
elders perform this custom of wearing rings.After this Lagna Patrika
[i.e. Marriage card] would be wri tten and read by the Purohits that
day.Lagna Patrikas would contain the information about the marriage
date,time i.e muhurtam and the venue details.Its a formal announcement
for the relatives and friends that both of them are engaged!
PRE WEDDING RITUALS:
In Karnataka, the pre wedding rituals commence with Naandi custom. It
is performed by both the bride and the groom in their houses. It is done
to ensure the marriage takes place uninterruptedly.Just
before the groom leaves for the bride's village, all the items for
marriage are placed in front of Lord Ganesha to seek his blessings. This
is called Deva Karya ceremony. After this, both the bride and the groom
are applied turmeric paste.
WEDDING RITUALS:
On the wedding day the first ritual is Mantap puja, according to which
the mantap and the hall where the wedding is to be conducted are
purified. After this the bride's father worships the groom by washing
his feet. This is known as Varapuja. This is followed by bride's entry
to the mantap. Here, they exchange garlands on the chant of holy
mantras. Next is the Dhare custom, wherein the bride's parents
give away her daughter to the groom, by placing a coconut and betel over
their hands and pouring holy water. Then the groom ties mangalsutra
around bride's neck. After this, Saptapadi ceremony is held and the
couple takes seven rounds around the sacred fire.
DEVARA SAMARAADHANE AND NAANDI CEREMONY:
The first function prior to madhwa marriage is the Devara
Samaradhane, which means offering prayers to “Family Deity”. Prayers are
offered to pithrus to invoke their blessings by the parents of bride
and bride groom, this is called Naandi.
Naandi is small ceremony which quick offs the marriage function
which is usually done 10 days before the wedding day.Its believed that
once Naandi is done then any birth or death happens in the family they
will not postpone the wedding. The function takes place in groom’s and
bride’s home separately at a particular time of that particular day.It
starts with Prarthane[Prayer] and GanaHoma [ Homa performed to please
Lord Ganesha].In Indian system usually all the auspicious functions
begin with praying Lord Ganesha and wedding is not an exception. According
to Vedas, when a person is married, he would be entering in to
Gruhastaashrama [which is one of the 4 ashramas : Brahmacharya ashram,
Grihasthaashram, Vanaprasthaashram and Sannyasaashram].In our tradition the
groom would sit on mom’s lap and father would cut little hair from his
head.Cutting hair/Tonsuring is the outward symbol of beginning a new
life.So customs prepare him to enter in to the new stage of life ( i.e
from Brahmacharyaashram to Grihasthaashram). Then groom would sit in front of the Tulasi Katte and women would pour holy water on him [Kalasha Snanam] and bless him.
The bridegroom is considered as God and he is honoured and worshipped by the father of the bride.He will be given gifts from the brides side will be given gifts from the brides side.
KASHI YATRA:
The next is Kaashi
Yatre tradition.
Kashi Yatra is a unique custom performed where the groom is dressed in the traditional katche Panche. He will wear slippers, umbrella,2 big rings[ which is made up of rice flour]
to the ear and hold walking stick in the hand.This is a very interesting part of the wedding where the groom
embarks on a mock pilgrimage to renounce the world .
It is an interesting ritual, wherein the groom pretends
of leaving for Kashi as he is devoid of a suitable bride. He will pretend that he will go to Kaashi and spend the rest of his
life there. He stops
when his maternal uncle shows him the bride he has chosen for him. As he steps out of
the kalyana mantapa the bride’s father & groom’s uncle pleads to stop him and will
persuades him to stay back by marrying his daughter.The
groom makes many objections but finally accepts and returns to the
mantapa to get married!
Kashi Yatra is
symbolic.It gives the option to groom to leave the worldly treasures and
lead the life of an ascetic or get married and become a householder.
The wedding day begins with Mangala Vadyam.
Parents and relatives
from bride will welcome the groom and his relatives to the wedding
hall.The bride’s parents and other members from her family wash the feet
of the groom, his parents and welcome them.One more thing is groom’s
sister has to hold a Kalasha ( small pot filled with holy water,Bettle Leaves & Flowers) and a
Mirror (kannadi in kannada) and rice.She has to accompany the groom till
the bride comes to Mantapa.
DRESS CODE FOR BRIDE AND GROOM: The groom wears a
silk ‘dhoti’ (a waist to ankle length silk fabric with borders) and an
‘angavastram’ (shalya) across his shoulders.He will also wear a Peta(
popularly known as Mysore Peta) and will hold a stick in the hand. Bride
wears a White silk sari and a uttareeya ( saree folded and tied across her
shoulder).She would tie a long hair as Bun(KONDE OR GANTU IN KANNADA) OR Decorate with
flowers which is known as Moggina Jede.
Bride has to keep koumari Kumkuma on her forehead.
Basinga is tied on the forehead of both bride and groom by the elders which is considered as auspicious.
The wedding ceremony- divided into following segments:
VARAMAALA : The bride is escorted to the mantapa by
her Maternal Uncle.A curtain is put between them.Its called as "Antarapata".Then at auspicious
muhurtam both of them will put Jeerige -Bella on each other's head & exchange the garlands.
KANYADAANA:
The
complexity of an Indian Hindu marriage is owing to the fact that there
are many rituals performed according to Vedic practices and hymns.
Kanyadaana is also such a ritual, which apart from being vital to the
ceremony, tugs at the emotional cord of the bride's parents. This is the
moment when their beloved daughter finally belongs to her husband.
Kanyadaana is performed on the main day function of the wedding.
It is performed by the Father of the bride, where in he entrusts his
daughter to the groom. In the absence of the father, Kanyadaana is
performed by an elderly relative or member of the family. As per the
practice, the father of the bride places the right hand of the bride
over the right hand of the groom .Sri Lakshmi Narayana idol is kept along with a
coconut on top of the bride & groom's palm.Then the father of the
bride pours out a libation of sacred water
symbolizing the giving away of the daughter to the bride groom.As a
condition for offering his daughter for marriage, the father of the
bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting the bride in
realizing the three ends : Dharma, Artha, and Kama. The groom makes the
promise by repeating three times that he will not fail the bride in
realizing Dharma, Artha and Kama. After this, the priest recites Vedic hymns.
This way the father gives her daughter as a gift to the groom. As per
tradition, groom is considered a form of Lord Vishnu. Thus, presenting
him gifts is deemed as the greatest honour for the parents of the bride.
As a result, they offer their daughter to the groom, who is their most
cherished gift. As a symbol of acceptance, the groom touches the right
shoulder of the bride, promising to take care of her and holding her
responsibility.
MAANGALYA DHAARANE:
Amidst chanting of vedic hymns, the groom ties the knot to bride.
In
Hindu weddings, one of the most sacred customs is of tying mangalsutra.
It is basically a black and gold beaded necklace with a gold or diamond
pendant. Mangalsutra carries immense importance in Hindu weddings as
well as in the lives of Hindu married women. A mangalsutra is tied
around the neck of the bride by the groom during the wedding rituals. It
is a symbol of marriage.
The word mangalsutra can be deciphered as 'sacred thread or cord'; as
'mangal' means auspicious and 'sutra' means thread or cord. Though in
appearance it looks like a jewellery item, it is definitely much more than
that. The concept is thought to have originated in South India, where it
is known as thali or thaali or maangalya. It is a yellow thread painted
with turmeric paste and is tied around the bride's neck with three
knots.
It has a great
importance in Indian tradition.Its believed that Godess Shri Mahalakshmi
resides in the Thali and protects the marriage from any evil.
Three Knots used for tying thali symbolize three different aspects of a
married woman-
1.The first knot represents her obedience to the husband.
2.The second to parents.
3.The third represents her respect for God.
However, the shape and size of mangalsutra varies from state to state
and region to region. In north India, it is a necklace with black and
gold beads with either a gold or diamond pendant. In the west, it
consists of two gold rounds with black beads. Moreover, they are
available in all sizes from short to long. Considering the importance of
mangalsutra, it is worn as a symbol of marital dignity and chastity. It
is a promise from a husband to his wife that they will always stay
together.
It depicts the union of the husband and the wife and protects them from
evil. Whatever might be the meaning, mangalsutra occupies a significant
position in Hindu marriages and rituals. Not to forget, women have
become quite flexible nowadays, in relation with the custom of wearing
mangalsutra. With fast paced development, mangalsutra has also become a
fashion statement. Women now go for exclusive designs and are ready to
experiment.
Apart
from the mangalsutra, the Toe rings, the Kumkum, bangles and nose ring
are also offered to the bride. All these ceremonies are performed in
front of Homa Kunda.Agnideva the fire God, is evoked to witness the
proceedings.The priest lights a sacred fire in the presence of the bride
and groom.
PAANI GRAHANAM:
After Mangalya Dhaaranam, the
groom lowers his right palm and encloses it over the right hand of the
bride. He covers all the five fingers of the right hand of the bride
with his right palm through this act of paani grahanam.He prays for long
life, progeny, prosperity and harmony with the bride during their
married life.
LAAJA HOMA is an important part of the wedding. The
bride’s brother gives his sister puffed rice.The groom guides the
bride’s hands and the puffed rice is consigned to the sacred fire.This
signifies the bridegroom asking the bride to merge completely with her
new family.
SAPTHAPADI:
This is the ritual where the couple walk around the sacred fire. The
groom walks with the bride to the right side of the sacred fire while
holding his wife’s right hand. He stops, bends down and holds the right
toe of his wife with his right hand and helps her take seven steps
around the fire. At the beginning of each step, he recites a Vedic
mantra. The se seven vows are known as Saptpadi, which are performed along with
Mangalpheras, which is revolving around the sacred fire. Any marriage is
incomplete without these vows and is deemed complete once they are
conducted. On the day of the wedding the bride and the groom sit under
the Mantap or the scared canopy for this ritual. The bride is seated
towards left of the groom before the pheras, while towards the right
after they are complete.
Seven handfuls of rice and coins are
placed in the northern periphery of the ‘Mantapa’. As the groom leads
the bride to each pile, she places her right toe on it, while he says :
1. ‘With this first step be the giver of food’.
Groom:
You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you
and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children.
Bride:
I am responsible for the home and all household responsibilities.
2. ‘With this second step be the source of strength’.
Groom:
Together we will protect our house and children.
Bride:
I will be by your side as your courage and strength. I will rejoice in
your happiness. In return, you will love me solely.
3. ‘With this third step be my prosperity’.
Groom:
May we grow wealthy and prosperous and strive for the education of our
children. May our children live long.
Bride:
I will love you solely for the rest of my life, as you are my husband.
Every other man in my life will be secondary. I vow to remain chaste.
4. ‘With this fourth step be my source of happiness.
Groom:
You have brought sacredness into my life, and have completed me. May we
be blessed with noble and obedient children.
Bride:
I will shower you with joy, from head to toe. I will strive to please
you in every way I can.
5. ‘With this fifth step be the mother of our children’.
Groom:
You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher. You
have come into my life, enriching it. God bless you.
Bride:
I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I live. Your happiness
is my happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honor
you, and will strive to fulfill all your wishes.
6. ‘With this sixth step be my companion in all seasons’.
Groom:
May you be filled with joy and peace.
Bride:
I will always be by your side.
7. ‘With this seventh step be my friend forever’ .
Groom:
We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours
for eternity.
Bride:
As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish
each other forever.
So the bride and groom take seven steps together, symbolizing the beginning of their journey through life as partners.
SIGHTING OF ARUNDHATI AND DHRUVA NAKSHATRA:
Once the Sapthapadi is completed, the groom gently places the bride’s
foot on a grinding stone near the fire and slips silver rings on her
toes. The couple is then shown the Dhruva Nakshatra or Pole Star a
symbol of permanence and also the ‘Arundhati Nakshatra, a symbol of
purity and virtue.
Later a Traditional Meal is served on banana leaves.Its called as "BHOOMA".They put five
Banana Leaves together & make the Newly Wed Couple to eat
together.The place will be decorated with Colourful Rangoli,Silver
Deepada Kambhas & Candles will be lit. Five types of sweets.Special
arrangements are made to seat the groom’s
family.
GRUHAPRAVESHAM: Gruhapravesham is the official
ceremony where bride enters her marital home.The groom’s mother and
sister receive the bridal couple at the doorstep.Groom’s sisters will
block them in the door and ask them to sing songs,play some games.Groom
has to bribe them then only they will allow the couple to enter.A
measuring jar (Seru) filled with raw rice & Jaggery is kept on the threshold of
the main door and the bride is asked to kick it slowly with her right
foot and then enter with the husband.She is now officially the
daughter-in-law. Women will perform a ‘Aarti’ for the couple.
After
all the rituals are over there will be Reception in the evening.It is
just a formal function to introduce the new couple to
family, friends and relatives.A wedding feast will be served.Now a days
people also arrange orchestra or some musical programs to entertain the
guests.
The Reception party
concludes the wedding, which is organized in a banquet hall by the
groom's family. The main aim of this party is introduction of the bride,
enjoyment, and relishing mouth watering delicacies.
POST WEDDING RITUALS:
After the wedding, when the bride comes to her marital home, she is
given a warm welcome by her in-laws. A vessel filled with rice & Jaggery is kept
at the entrance of the house and she is asked to knock it inside the
house, with her right foot. After this, the bride enters the house and
this is called Griha Pravesh. After this is the name change ceremony, in
which the groom decides a name for his wife. He then inscribes it with a
ring on a plate, containing rice.
On the second day after marriage, the bride's parents visit the newly
wed couple. They then take the couple to their home along with
themselves. The couple stays there for some days after which the groom's
family goes to the bride's house to take them back. Lunch is hosted by the groom’s parents on the next
day of wedding,which is also called as Beegara Outhana. On that morning Satyanarayana Pooja will be performed in
the groom’s house.Bridal couple start their new life by performing the
auspicious pooja.
Fifth day of the wedding again a wedding feast will be served in both the houses (family) as they do chapparada pooje.
THINGS THAT ARE TO BE GIVEN TO GROOM FROM GIRL'S SIDE:
FOR ENGAGEMENT:
1.Gold Finger Ring,Pant,Shirt OR a Kurta Pyjama.
2.Design Cobra as mark of respect.
3.Dry fruits.
4.Sweets.
5.Artifacts.
6.Perfume,Toileteries etc.
AT WEDDING:
VARA POOJA:
MEERA BHAKTA
Hey Meera why don't you update your blog so it actually makes sense in the 21st century? What is this supposed to mean?
ReplyDeleteGroom:
You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children.
Bride:
I am responsible for the home and all household responsibilities.
Why have you interpreted it as the woman being responsible for the household? For your reference here's a better explanation which is not patriarchal.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satphere
Don't even get me started on your explanation for the 4th Step.
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Wedding is a sacred ceremony meant to create a union that supports and carries a man and woman throughout their married life.loved to know more about wedding.thanks for sharing.christian-marriage
ReplyDeleteVery informative. Thanks! Although, could you please write what to be given to the groom at wedding and vara puje?
ReplyDeleteBeegara oota is done before the wedding and there is no 7times going around the fire in saptapadi. In saptapadi there 7 betel nuts kept which are touched by the bride with her right leg toe n groom holds her on her shoulders. Going around the fire 7 times is north indian ritual
ReplyDeleteWe are madhava kannada bramins plz plz tell step by step gowri puja vedhi which is done before marriage
ReplyDeletePreparing Kankana Dhara soaked in milk by elderly couples and tieing on the wrist of both bride... the same Kankana dhara has to be removed during Ashirwad manthra... then both can bow to all elders and get blessings.
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Really informative for today's gen...I request you to update all other ceremonies and their procedures too.. Many Thanks.
ReplyDelete